Happy Birthday Carin

Today Carin would have been seven years old. I got her while I was stationed in Germany within a week or so of getting back from Iraq. I remember I was watching TV and there was some memorial thing going on and I just broke into tears and here is this little puppy trying her damndest to climb up on the couch. She finally made it up and started off sitting at the opposite end, before long she had inched her way into my lap and started licking the tears away. During the same time I found out that one of my buddies died while he was in Iraq (I left early due to an injury), thank God there was an information leak. I found out before I was sitting in an auditorium full of complete strangers. When I got the news Carin wiggled her way next to me and made it very clear she was there for me. Over the short years I had her in my life she was my friend, my companion and my child. August last year she lost her battle with kidney disease. I know she held on for as long as she could. But the last 24 hours must have been a nightmare for her. We ended up in the puppy ER on Sunday, there was no question that it was almost time. I refused to leave her there so they could “run tests”. We brought her home that night and made sure there was no question in her. She was permitted to eat whatever she pleased (she had been on a low protein diet for well over a year), she got chocolate and raisins and I am sure I would have given her my most expensive running shoes had she have asked! The next morning I call out vet and I kept her in my arms until after her last breath.

Happy birthday to my little girl. You will also be in my heart!

Let me sleep!

Yesterday I had a chance to look back over some of my previous blogs and it got me thinking. My first blog was 20 Apr 10, almost coming up on a year! On 27 Apr 10, I blogged about the last 10 years and how trying it has been but on the same token how I have accomplished things I would never had dreamed possible! Less than a month later I was blogging about the tentative diagnosis of lupus!

Over the past almost year those of you who read this have piped in a time or two with some much need support or advice of kudos which are all much appreciated! The support I received when Carin passed away I can’t even start to express my gratitude.

I did not get my 30-minute shred in last night, by the time I got home Cuervo had decided to set his chair (he has a papsan chair) up in my room and go to sleep. I at least got a laugh out of it… I was in bed settled in and I hear little squeals coming from his direction, I sit up and see that Charlie had climbed into the chair with him! Luckily whenever I go into the bathroom Charlie follows, which meant he got off Cuervo (who didn’t even really wake up). Later in the night the elusive Diamond (the cat who shares the upstairs with me and was willing to put up with Carin but no other dog) got cornered by Charlie. That was some excitement! Everyone in the house woke up trying to pull Charlie away from her and I got the job of picking her up and getting her under my bed (one of her favorite places to hide) without getting scratched. Freddie sat in the middle of my room watching all the excitement but not moving. Diamond try to put Charlie in his place by giving him a nice scratch on his nose but it didn’t work! Diamond is usally pretty good about avoiding Charlie, but last night just didn’t pan out for her. She is fine. When Charlie went out this morning she came out of my closet (she went from under my bed to the closet sometime last night, she has food, water and a box in both locations) and stopped by for some love and then returned to under my bed. Diamond is a true cat, she will let you know when she wants attention and if any of her bowls are lower than she likes the entire house will hear about it!
Today I have a nice ride on the stationary bike again and hopefully a 30 minute workout tonight. I might stray away from the 30-day shred and do yoga (right knee is a little cranky today), not sure yet I will figure that out when I get home and I am putting in a disk

Need to Get Back on Track

The past week has been absolutely horrible and that is ignoring the issue with Carin! For whatever reason I woke up last Friday morning and my neck hurt, not the normal slept wrong crick in the neck but downright hurt. I pain was shooting from the base of my skull down to about where my bra strap hits. Typically I would have considered calling in sick, but there was too much going on that I just couldn’t do it. The pain got to the point that I called for an appointment and thankfully I was able to get in that afternoon.
Since it was my doc’s day off I say the PA, I have no issue with that. He could see the spasms in my back the second I turned around. I could turn my head 5 degrees to the right and about 10 to the left. I could not look down and if I turned wrong I couldn’t breathe. I was put on Vicodin and Flexural and then sent home for bed rest. I dropped off the prescription and was told it would be an hour, I was not waiting! I picked up Kiddo #2 from my parents (Kiddo #1 was at Tae Kwon Do) and went home. Poor Kiddo #2 had to help me take my shirt off, he was a gentlemen and closed his eyes while he was helping. As I laid down I think every swear word in the book came flying out of my mouth! My wonderful sister picked up Kiddo #1, my meds and “comfort food”.
Saturday I had enough meds in my system that I pretty much slept the entire day!
Sunday wasn’t as easy. Carin howled in pain and I shot right up. There aren’t words to describe how much that hurt. Hanging out at the Doggy ER for a few hours didn’t help either. When we got home, Carin got her doggy Vicodin (not sure the name, but it was pretty much the same thing) I took my pain pills and we both curled up on my bed and slept.
Monday I had mommy duties followed by a follow up doc appointment. I called the vet to get Carin in so her doctor could check her out. I went to Kiddo #1’s school and did my mommy duty for about an hour, went home picked Carin and well, we know what happened at her appointment. My mom came to the vet to pick up my boys and my sister took me to my doctor appointment and I was put on another two days of bed rest. And since I cried at him he gave me sleeping pills to make sure I slept (I have not needed them yet, so I haven’t used any!).
All this breaks down to a week of happy pills, “comfort food” eating, no training… Yes, I skipped Weight Watchers this week! Freddie moves in tonight so my lunch time workouts are out the window for a while. That just leaves early morning or after work/when my sister gets home from school. It is time to get back on the wagon, I am still not up to running (back/neck still hurts a little) but that doesn’t mean I can’t take walks or do the recumbent bike. It definitely means I need to keep it nice and easy and my diet needs to go back to what it should be!

A dog by any other name…

I started looking around for a new playmate for Charlie for about three weeks. By pure dumb luck the first day I started looking I found what I wanted, a Boxer puppy! Now, I admit, I love boxers! Their personality is just, well there are really no words to explain them.
One thing I couldn’t stop laughing at was how many people are trying to sell mutts for purebred prices. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with mutts, until recently all I ever had were mutts. When I was little we had a German Shepherd/Wolf (not sure how old she was when she passed away), then we had a German Shepherd/Chow (lived until she was 18 years old), we have a Great Dane/Lab. What gets me is not only the price of the “hybrid dogs” of “designer dogs” but the names of some of them! Labradoodle? Sounds like a cookie, not a dog! “Boshi pups (Boston terrier\Shihzu)”? Really? How about “Malshi-poos”? Oh! Here is one… $500 for a “Shichon/Zuchon(ShihTzu/Bishon)”. Not only are some of these dogs’ names funny sounding, some of these dogs are just plain straight out funny looking! A prime example is Rusty a “bogle” a Boxer/Beagle go to: http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/bogle.htm. The dogs I grew up with are now known as not sure what the German Shepherd/wolf would be called today, but we also had a Chow Shepherd, and now a Labradane. I am not sure what the problem with being a “mutt” was but apparently it is no longer politically correct for a dog to be a mutt. You know what, I am sure Charlie could care less what you call him, all he needs to do is scratch him under the chin and rub his tummy and just show him that you care. Show dogs are fine, but they have no place in my home (it is more fun making messes and playing around than it is to get gussied up for others to judge).

Carin

This week is a week that won’t count for anything. It all started on Friday when I woke up with a horrible pain in my neck. I could not really turn my head, if I turned the wrong direction I could not breath. All in all I just plain straight out hurt! Little did I know it was a precursor to how my weekend would go.
I went to the doctor after work and he put me on some wonderful meds. I got home; I had to have my son help me get changed. It was actually pretty funny watching him keeps his eyes closed while trying to help. My sister was kind enough to pick up my pills (I could not wait an hour for my meds, so I went home). Saturday I slept most of the day. Sunday is when all hell started breaking loose. Carin started howl/barking in pain, I sat straight up! Talk about seeing stars. She started running in circles (accidently peed on Tyler, cause he was sitting on the floor). I tried to get her outside, I thought she had to go potty. Less than a half hour later she did the howl/bark again. That is it, she is going to the doggy ER. We got there and were brought back to a room. I have no idea how long we waited before anyone came in. Carin had a temp of 105+, finally the doc came in and said she should stay there and they will run all these tests, and do x-rays and blah, blah, blah. Last time Carin was away from home at a medical clinic she came home with a pretty good cause of depression. Knowing she was close I told them no. Give her some doggy Tylenol (for her temp) and something for the pain and we will call it a day. That is pretty much what they did. If it was her time I didn’t want her to be with complete strangers. She had two more howling/barking episodes while we were there and no one bothered to check if she was ok.
Monday, I was still on my pain pills… I called the vet to let them know what had happened over the weekend. Carin had stopped eating and drinking (we could get her to drink a smidge if we used a water gun and squirted her). We got to the vet and she had lost another three pounds (since Sunday). We were put in a room and they took her temp, it had gone down. Carin kept walking around the room, she would not sit, she would not lay down. The doc came in and commented how thin she had become and said we could try more IV fluid but she didn’t think that would work to well, since it didn’t work to well last time. At that point my sister was on her way from work. I called my mom and then my dad. I spoke to my boys and we all agreed it was time to let her go. I sat on the floor, Carin finally came over to me and I got her to lay down. My boys came in to say good bye and asked for grandma to come pick them up. When my sister arrived, Carin gave her the look of ‘I am glad you are here, it is my time.’ The doc and the tech came in and let her stay where she was in my lap. Carin didn’t even flinch when they put the needle in her arm. I kept kissing her on the head. She took one last breath and that was it. The doc checked her heart and said ‘she is gone.’ I lifted her up into my arms and gave her one last hug.
It might have been the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I know it was the right thing. She tried to hold on as long as she could. She left knowing she was loved by many and that her family will be ok.

Good bye my beloved friend and companion.

Carin 22 March 2004 - 9 August 2010

TGIF

Well, Wednesday night was yet another weigh in at Weight Watchers and for good or bad, the number on the scale didn’t move at all! I am very happy with it not going up, between all the stress lately and TOM I was expecting it to go up at least a little. Once again, my goal this week is to write down EVERYTHING! With everything going on, my great planning has gone out the window. That is ok, there is nothing I can do about yesterday, I can only work on today and tomorrow!
I did manage to hit the gymlet Wednesday during lunch, for whatever reason my run/walk was a serious struggle. I haven’t needed my inhaler for a while, but I really needed to have it with me that day! Yesterday the stars just did not align for a workout, so I took a rest day (but man did I hit the stairs). I left my lunch at home so I had to get something instead of working out (I do not have enough snacks to have worked out without a lunch).
I also went window shopping last night for Freddie’s supplies, while I was in Target I get a text message with a picture of him, I started squealing! Luckily I was with the kiddo who knows about Freddie!
Carin is having a rough day or two. Her tail motor seems to have gotten stuck and isn’t going near as much as it was the past handful of days. She also hasn’t been getting up on my bed the past two nights, so I get on the floor with her and love on her for a while. She did get mad at Charlie because he was playing with Pentipus (he only came with 5 legs, he cannot be an octopus!) on my bed and he accidently threw if off my bed (nowhere near her), he leaned off my bed to grab it and Carin started growling. Charlie left the toy and hid back up on my bed! I threw him the toy while loving on Carin.
Charlie is getting more and more fidgety for a playmate (besides me).
Today, I have my lunch packed and I am hoping to get a weight session in at the gymlet.

Weight Watchers Weigh in #6

The past two weeks have been a little to dramatic for my liking, but we are making it through (somehow)! First and foremost, Carin is acting like she is feeling great! At this point not only do I not want to know what her numbers are I don’t care! When she moved she is a little stiff, but man does that tail wag up a storm when she sees me. Right now she loves her Mac and Cheese with either hot dogs or chicken (plus one scoop of her food). She will climb up on my bed (I have stairs for her) most nights for a little while and then she will take her place in either the bathroom or the top of the stairs, both locations have a makeshift bed for her. She has also been greeting me at the door in the afternoons. She also seems to enjoy sneaking into Charlie’s bed and eating his food while he sits on my bed and just stares at her in disbelief! Freddie is still moving in (17 days left) and we are hoping Carin will stick around for a while to teach him the proper way of being a fur child in our family. On the weight and training front, things aren’t quite as good, but they aren’t horrible either. I finally started moving my butt again this past Monday. I made it down stairs for a 45 minute session on the elliptical machine and felt pretty good. Yesterday, Kiddo #1 couldn’t find his swimsuit so he was not able to go swimming while I went to yoga, I made him come with me! My legs got an amazing working last night! Kiddo #1 did a great job (no complaining, no fidgeting) but after the class he did complain his muscles hurt!
Tonight is weigh in #6 with weight watchers. I have less that 3.2 pounds to hit my first goal. I would love to make it, but I will be happy for any loss today. On the eating front, I haven’t really been paying to much attention to what I should be eating, but I am trying. The whole writing everything day bit is kicking my butt AND the night grazing.
Today, I am looking forward to a nice treadmill session!

Canine Companions

I did a fly by at Weight Watchers last night (I had just brought Carin to the vet to have her catheter removed and she was sitting in the car) and even through this past week has been a nightmare I managed to lose a half a pound! When I am stressed I don’t eat right (sometimes I don’t eat at all other times I can’t stop eating) and my physical activity plummets. So I am ecstatic about the half a pound!
As far as ‘Freddie’ is concerned there are two schools of thought about getting a new dog before the departure of the old one. Some believe you must have time to mourn the loss of a friend/companion. Others feel it is necessary for the old one to meet the new one in order for the old one to gain peace of mind. Carin has been an amazing companion to me through some very difficult times. She makes it obvious that she worries about me. I am one of those who feels it is necessary for her to give her chew of approval for any new four legged child who comes into my life. Add that to the fact I have two kids who have spent the better part of their lives with her and then there is Charlie! Charlie the oversized lap dog who knows how to play on different levels; my boys he plays a gentle game of tug-a-war, me he wrestles and body slams lightly, Carin it used to be all out rough housing! I wanted a bulldog but that would not have been a good match for Charlie.
The other night I was trying to come up with a name so they could start using that name when dealing with him. I was sitting them trying to come up with something and Charlie was sitting right next to me. Chaos, Cody, Diego – nah, none of them sounded right. Linus (one of Charlie’s nicknames is Charlie Brown), Freddie… Charlie jumped on me and started licking me! I named a few more and he ignored me again, Freddie again, he was on top of me giving me kisses! OK! I get the picture, you want him to be named Freddie! Mind you this is the same dog who came from the pound with the name of “Buba” and while driving I was asking him what his name should be and he ignored all names but Charlie.

Rainbow

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
17 So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth."
Genesis 9:12-17 NIV

Let me start this off by saying I am not a very religious person, do I believe in God? Yes! Do I go to church every Sunday? No. I personally prefer paying my respects in surroundings He has provided!
With all that said, what’s the point to my babbling? On Monday the vet told me that realistically there is nothing else they can do for Carin, ok, they can keep her on the IV fluid treatment but she now seems to be suffering from depression. After speaking to my sister we agreed that the IVs are going to stop. When I left for work yesterday I was scared to death to even think about what I was going to come home to. Carin was on the top of the stairs and when I said good morning to her I barely got a wag. Charlie was doing the serious pee-pee dance (he won’t step over her) and that didn’t get her tail wagging (I swears she thinks it’s funny watching him try to figure out how to get around her). I did convince her to eat some egg yolk but other than that she didn’t want anything.


I started looking for a new Charlie friend, he isn’t happy that his bestest buddy in the whole wide world isn’t playing with him. I wanted a bulldog, but I know that would not be a good companion for Charlie (he LOVES to play rough) and must have a high energy companion. I did find a bulldog that was located in Denver, but when I contacted the seller they were in Ohio (red flag!); then there was two, not just one (red flag!); Western Union the money to whomever (checked google, and my friend google had scam alert after scam alert! told the person, thanks but no thanks! Then I came across an ad for boxer puppies (Carin is a purebred boxer), the seller is local(ish), so I placed a call and left a message. On the way home I figured I would stop by Panera, Carin LOVES their bread bowl with the cheese and broccoli soup in it. If anything can make her eat that will! As I was driving up to my house I started crying. I had no idea what I was coming home to, part of me didn’t want to know but I knew I couldn’t sit outside my house until my sister got home (she had class). I sucked it up and walked up the sidewalk, no Carin nose. I unlocked the front door and still no Carin nose (she is not a talker), I opened the door and there she was wagging her butt as hard as she could! Carin was never cropped or docked (illegal in Europe) so she wags her tail her entire rear ends wags!
I went upstairs to let Charlie out (Charlie is kenneled during the day, he is a chewer, but he is getting better) and he noticed I had food in my hand, Carin didn’t care that Charlie stopped to inspect HER food (any food that comes into the house is hers). After opening the back door for them to come in and out as they please I went back upstairs where Carin practically bounced onto my bed. We had a picnic right there. If the chunks of bread bowl did not have enough soup of them Carin didn’t want them and left it to Charlie to dispose of.
I was talking to my mom about an appointment she just took Kiddo #2 to and my phone indicated that I had another call coming in. It was the call about the boxers! She only has boys left and they would be ready for their new homes on 14 Aug 10. She told me more about them, but that is the highlights! They do not have names yet (Carin had her name when she joined my family) so I started talking to Charlie about names, the second I said ‘Freddie’ Charlie attacked me! Giving me all sorts of kisses! Ok, Freddie it is!

I got a picture of Freddie and he looks like he could be Carin natural puppy. The whole point about the rainbow is last night I saw one and this morning there was an amazing one on the way to work. A friend who is also going through some tough times (hers worse than mine) pointed out that seeing a rainbow is God’s way of saying everything will be ok.
Oh, I didn’t make it to yoga last night. I figured Carin is more important! Oh, yea, today is weigh in day!

(Rainbow image from http://climate.met.psu.edu/www_prod/data/frost/images/rainbow.jpg)

Carin Day 3

Well, yesterday was Day 3 at the doggy hospital. She took a lot more fluid then she had the two previous days, she was able to take over a liter! They redid her blood work and two numbers had improved (it might have only been a smidge, but they improved!). Unfortunately being poked and prodded for three out of the last four days got to her and she is very mopey. So the vet said we could decide if she needed to come back in and we have decided she is going to stay home today! We put her food bowl right next to her on the top of the stairs and she has a water bowl there too! (The pic is when she first met my boys [I can't remember whose rump that is], boy did they love her then and they love her even more now!)

Oh! And I am still working on eating right, the training has gone a little to the off track the past few days, but I am hoping to get to yoga tonight.

Day 3

Today is Carin’s third day visiting the doggy hospital. She was diagnosed with chronic renal failure over a year ago and her latest blood test was REALLY bad. Her numbers have more than tripled over the last 7 months. The doc wanted her to come in for IV fluid treatment, which we started on Friday. She went in again on Saturday and then this morning. They will be retesting her blood this afternoon and I am hoping upon all hopes that they see improvement.

The weather over the weekend has not helped her condition. She has not wanted to eat (and neither has Charlie) I am guessing because it is just plain straight out to hot. She is trying to drink every chance she gets, but I don’t think it is enough. She hasn’t wanted to really move, she will lay in one spot (causing pain to her hindquarters) but she gets excited when people walk by her. Her spirit is fine; her body isn’t doing great right now. But the past three days of doggy hospital will fix all that and she will come home and be fine!

My baby girl

The end of last week through the early part of this week Carin has been indicating that she has been in pain. So, like a good mommy I went into the vet to find out what pain pills I can give her. As I should have expected they won’t give her anything with her blood test being done (she has kidney disease). So, like a good mommy I brought her in for her blood work the next morning (she had to fast). Last night I got a message from the vet saying her kidneys are getting worse.
Carin has been part of my family for six years now (15 Jun 04). I got her less than a month after returning from Iraq and I swear she is the reason I haven’t gone nuts. I have watched stuff and for whatever reason I will just completely broken down into tears and she, time and time again, has climbed into my lap and would not move no matter how many times I have told her I am fine. Or if there is something else going on in my life she is right there. During the winter she even climbs under my blankets to make sure my feet don’t get cold (isn’t that nice of her!). She is my baby girl. My boys look at her as their sister she is a family member.
I am waiting for the vet to call back to find out where we go from here. Since the first diagnosis Carin has been on a low protein diet, she eats Hills Prescription Diet k/d® Canine Renal Health with a shot of aluminum hydroxide and something yummy (like broccoli) mixed in. If she does not get her aluminum hydroxide mixed into her food then I get woken up in the middle of the night to change my sheets (Carin usually sleeps on my bed) because she peed and didn’t realize it. Luckily for me she is a huge fan of the veggies and oddly enough like me she can’t handle the sodium. Ok, I admit, she also LOVES popcorn and pretzels! But other than that she eats very healthy food. To add insult to injury she has been unintentionally losing weight (she has lost almost 10 pounds since her last visit a month or two ago).
Vet called and numbers have triple, bringing her into the vet.