"Don't let the fat chick beat you"?

I have been racing for about 5 years now. I am not a typical runner or even triathlete. I fight with serious medical conditions every step of the way, but each step makes me stronger. I have two boys both with special needs and I have learned to chalk that up to making me stronger as well.

It is with sad heart that I must report that lupus has won the battle this year, but trust me when I say the war is far from over! My racing days are not over by any stretch of the imagination. This is just a minor setback that will make me stronger.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


This week is a week that won’t count for anything. It all started on Friday when I woke up with a horrible pain in my neck. I could not really turn my head, if I turned the wrong direction I could not breath. All in all I just plain straight out hurt! Little did I know it was a precursor to how my weekend would go.
I went to the doctor after work and he put me on some wonderful meds. I got home; I had to have my son help me get changed. It was actually pretty funny watching him keeps his eyes closed while trying to help. My sister was kind enough to pick up my pills (I could not wait an hour for my meds, so I went home). Saturday I slept most of the day. Sunday is when all hell started breaking loose. Carin started howl/barking in pain, I sat straight up! Talk about seeing stars. She started running in circles (accidently peed on Tyler, cause he was sitting on the floor). I tried to get her outside, I thought she had to go potty. Less than a half hour later she did the howl/bark again. That is it, she is going to the doggy ER. We got there and were brought back to a room. I have no idea how long we waited before anyone came in. Carin had a temp of 105+, finally the doc came in and said she should stay there and they will run all these tests, and do x-rays and blah, blah, blah. Last time Carin was away from home at a medical clinic she came home with a pretty good cause of depression. Knowing she was close I told them no. Give her some doggy Tylenol (for her temp) and something for the pain and we will call it a day. That is pretty much what they did. If it was her time I didn’t want her to be with complete strangers. She had two more howling/barking episodes while we were there and no one bothered to check if she was ok.
Monday, I was still on my pain pills… I called the vet to let them know what had happened over the weekend. Carin had stopped eating and drinking (we could get her to drink a smidge if we used a water gun and squirted her). We got to the vet and she had lost another three pounds (since Sunday). We were put in a room and they took her temp, it had gone down. Carin kept walking around the room, she would not sit, she would not lay down. The doc came in and commented how thin she had become and said we could try more IV fluid but she didn’t think that would work to well, since it didn’t work to well last time. At that point my sister was on her way from work. I called my mom and then my dad. I spoke to my boys and we all agreed it was time to let her go. I sat on the floor, Carin finally came over to me and I got her to lay down. My boys came in to say good bye and asked for grandma to come pick them up. When my sister arrived, Carin gave her the look of ‘I am glad you are here, it is my time.’ The doc and the tech came in and let her stay where she was in my lap. Carin didn’t even flinch when they put the needle in her arm. I kept kissing her on the head. She took one last breath and that was it. The doc checked her heart and said ‘she is gone.’ I lifted her up into my arms and gave her one last hug.
It might have been the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I know it was the right thing. She tried to hold on as long as she could. She left knowing she was loved by many and that her family will be ok.
Good bye my beloved friend and companion.

Carin 22 March 2004 - 9 August 2010


  1. I am so sorry! I agree...It is so hard to make that decision and say goodbye to a beloved member of your family. Hang in there! Hugs!!

    I hope you are feeling better too!

  2. To steal some well written words from my friend Lynn: RIP peace "Carin", your life was SO WORTH sharing with the world. The "Rainbow Bridge" is an awesome place to wait for that day when your mommy will join you and you will be together forever!! My babies are waiting for me there too. That helps give me great peace. I believe that with all my heart and soul. Love ya girl. ♥

  3. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put my golden down from cancer three years ago and it was so hard. They become such a part of our family.

    Hugs to you!