While I was out running this morning I could help but think about just how much marathoning and marriage are a like (ok, I failed at the marriage thing, but I am doing pretty well with the marriage gig!). Before you even get to the race itself you have to go through so much, you have to find the right pair of shoes, you have to put the miles and miles of training in, you have to know you are ready for the race, you have to figure out your nutrition, you have to get to the race, and the list goes on and on. Once the race has started you can't just have the attitude of 'I made it, I am don't have to try any more'. Even after you cross the finish line you still have to do even more things.
I have been divorced for the better part of a decade now. I did get two amazing little boys out of my ex and I know there had to be something that attracted me to him in the first place, but more often than not I don't remember what that was. I have to say that marriage was not treated as a marathon, let alone the entire marathoning experience. By the end of my marriage I had packed on some serious weight, I lost my personality, and my spine was packed so far in the back of the closet it wasn't even funny. Since the day the judge granted my divorce (he was the same judge who married us ironically) I have not only found the good parts of the old me, I have discovered parts of me I never could have imagined.
My family (my parents and my boys) has started nagging me about when am I going to get married again. Well, that is one race I am not sure I am ready for quiet yet. This time I will cross that finish line, I refuse to get another DNF. I work full time, I have two special needs (both have mental disorders) kids (the kid factor has already scared off a few possible suitors), I am working on getting my degree, I race and quiet frankly I do not NEED a man in my life (when I married my ex I NEEDED a man in my life).
If I was able to ponder this today only doing 5.6 miles I am worried about what will happen tomorrow, shoot, I am worried what I will come up with during my 20 milers!!!!!!
Oh, and todays run felt great! I shaved off more than 30 seconds per mile from the exact same run last week. I think I am finding my running legs again, but my inner turtle is still with me!
Awesome run and awesome post! In the same manner that you are finding your running legs and getting stronger each week your inner turtle is going to be on his own before long!! Don't let yourself make up stories about how awesome you are as you! and hell, who needs to be married if you are running and taking care of the kids! Way to go! You rock!
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